SPLAT!
So my first two weeks of 2012 have been less than stellar, but as they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Still, it’s hard to have all these ambitious goals, only to feel like a safe has been dropped on your head immediately after heading out on your merry little way to accomplish them. Am I aiming too high with my expectations? Perhaps. But I need to feel excited about what I’m setting out to do, it keeps me motivated. My challenge I’ve discovered, is not my desire to attain my goals, it’s in my follow through.
So keeping all my hang-ups in mind, something struck me when I was reading an old article (don’t ask me why I still had such an old issue kicking around–clearly my reading pile needs to be gone through). In it, Horror writer, Lee Thomas, was joking that he has more daddy issues than an Atlantic City stripper, but if he went into them too deeply he could probably just diffuse them, which would end up being bad for his work, so instead he just accepts them for what they are. Maybe I’m getting too hung up on my own issues and should just let them be, rather than trying resolve them? Perhaps the obstacles I create are good for me?
Obstacles are what shape us into who we are becoming — every writer knows this. Without obstacles, there is no conflict and without conflict there is no story. So in order for the story to be good, there has to be safes dropping on our heads and cliffs that are too high and utter failure, because that’s how we learn how to do it better next time. I think my big problem is not the too high expectations, I think it’s my utter dislike of failure. I’d honestly rather not do it at all than risk failure, but then I end up fermenting in my frustrating lack of growth. See the vicious circle I love to trap myself in?
I think Henry Ford really knew what he was talking about, but too many of his quotes apply here, so I think I’ll sum up my failed week with my current favourite quote from an unlikley source: “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” And really, it’s not how you get to your goal, merely that you finally get to it in the end. Right?
Jeff Harrison
Jeff Harrison 